she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
