how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I hope mine doesn't look like that
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
