I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
