I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
