Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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