i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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