My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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