ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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