ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
