It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
is that a dick in a sweater?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
