THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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