Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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