I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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