Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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