i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My life is pants optional.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
