i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
