put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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