They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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