The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
