You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
