I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
