woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
