I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
