You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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