why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
