Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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