My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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