Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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