drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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