have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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