Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
