she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
