scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
