the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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