so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
