i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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