I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
