Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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