Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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