Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
