I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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