Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
