Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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