I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I am mentally ready for anal.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
