dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
