God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Your cock deserves a montage
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
