so explain again why im purple
no
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
