addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize