i would punch a child for taco bell
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
