direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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