She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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