listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
