He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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