My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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