i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
