it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
