I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
