Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
