I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
