her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
